Tuesday, October 19, 2010

George Would Be Proud

Today I spent a bit of time reflecting upon what makes DC unique. Here are a few things I came up with, which may or may not resonate with readers, depending on whether you live or spend time in the nation's glorious capital. In any case, here in DC, we have much to offer:
  • Broken escalators. These fancy metal staircases can be found at nearly every Metro station in the city. The best thing about broken escalators is the nice surprised feeling you get when you happen upon a working escalator every now and then. It's the little things...
  • High-priced homes and the country's worst public schools. Yes America, that's right. In the proud city named for the Father of Our Country, you can simultaneously pay more than $400,000 for a one-bedroom condo and send your child to a school where he or she will be as likely to be bitten by a rat as to land in a school with adequate funding and facilities.
  • More rain than Seattle. Based on an article I read but won't be citing here because -- let's face it, I'm too lazy to look it up -- DC had more inches of rain last year than Seattle, the city that people like to think of as being the rainiest in the land. We also have drivers who act as though Satan himself were bringing the world to an end via a fiery hellstorm whenever a few drops fall from the sky. They turn driving during rush hour into a fun game of hit the gas, hit the brake, wait, swerve a bit, aaand repeat. You would think that they'd be used to it by now...
Now I don't want to be a Negative Nelly here. We also have lots of fun, wholesome, American things to offer in DC. Such as monuments, museums, the Presidential motorcade, the filming of Transformers 314 on the National Mall, and lobbyists!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that, like in any place, you have to take the bad with the good. And it could be worse - we could get huge snowstorms that shut down the city for weeks at a time. Oh, wait...

1 comment:

  1. Bwhaha! I snorted, yes, snorted at this:
    "We also have drivers who act as though Satan himself were bringing the world to an end via a fiery hellstorm whenever a few drops fall from the sky."